Divorce can lead children to feel imbalanced and uncomfortable at home, the place where they should feel safest. That’s why intentional cooperative co-parenting, though difficult and awkward, is necessary to maintain effective childrearing after divorce.
In the accompanying video, I use information discussed in a 2021 academic article titled “Coparenting and child behavior in the context of divorce: A systematic review” and raisingchildren.net.au to explain the importance of co-parenting and how to successfully work as a parenting team through the fictitious story of “Simone and Levi.”
Flexibility, creativity, communication and selflessness are key. However, it is important to remember that not all communication is healthy. Negative, or competitive co-parenting, can intensely harm your child’s mental health — this applies to all family structures, both married and divorced. Avoid aggressive confrontations and backhanded comments in the presence of your child.
Terminating your romantic relationship with someone does not mean terminating your partnership with them as parents. Be willing to compromise and focus on your child’s needs first. Love is selfless. Love your child.
To learn about a real-life story on the importance of co-parenting, I highly recommend watching this TED Talk performed by ex-spouses Ebony Roberts and Shaka Senghor, both of whom have learned to honor each other’s role in their son’s life.